A lot of us you would find are reminded about Allaah more so through personal experiences rather than talks or speeches. The duroos and studies help a person to have foundations that structure his beliefs so he knows how his state should be, what he should do and so on at certain times, however, it is those personal moments that last a lifetime in memories, helping us to always reflect back in Allaah through them and also build the characters that we are today. These events may be seen as small when shared to others but for the one who experiences these moments they are like heavy mountains that he or she cherishes and smiles over feeling ever close to Allaah than before. It is one of those moments that I wanted to share.
Throughout the whole of last week I was balancing a life of all-nighters. My body was craving for sleep, taking the opportunity to do so wherever it could. Come Saturday night I decided to go to sleep. However, I had to leave early in the morning to Southampton in order to deliver a naseeha so I decided to sleep in East London Masjid instead knowing I wouldn’t be able to wake up had I gone home. Trust me although there is nothing like the #masjidlife, it’s quite difficult to get a few hours sleep in there.
I arrived at Southampton in the early day to deliver my topic on Parents. I recall at one point where I explained to the audience discussing the topic how there are those who have moments of darkness in their life full of regret, moments where they wish they could have cherished a bit more. Little did I know what was about to come later in the day were moments to test me on my speech.
I returned back to London just in time for Maghrib salaah on the Sunday. My Mum wasn’t at home so I decided to check my twitter instead. I checked through some updates of a brother until I came across a tweet from a sister on twitter ‘striving_ukht.’ I don’t follow the individual but decided to check it out, finding one of her tweets were about visiting the sick where she posted an image from the Hisnul Muslim. As I read on I found out that her Father was in a hospice. I didn’t want to communicate with the sister but made the decision that I had to see the Father. QadrAllaah by going through her tweets I found out I would be able to visit and was also able to locate the ward, bed number and so on allowing me to visit without communication with her being necessary.
I waited until my younger sister went to sleep before making my way to the bus stop but qadrAllaah I reached only to find it had been closed. I decided to work out and follow the route, but the second, the third and the fourth stops were also closed. Not only that but they were closed from that night until 9th September morning only. Being so tired I was going through a moment of limbo. To go home and visit the uncle in the hospice tomorrow when the buses are working or to continue in the night. Thoughts were going through my head, how would I know if such an opportunity would come again, maybe the decree of Allaah would come and I would be asked about not visiting His servant in the hereafter! Had I not seen striving_ukht’s tweets maybe I would have had an excuse. So khallas, I carried on walking until I reached the 5th or 6th bus stop which alhamdulillaah was open.
I couldn’t go in empty handed, so upon reaching the destination I decided to go to a shop close-by only to find out at the counter that I had left my money at home! Allaahuakbar. I made my way back home with the time becoming quite late I was thinking subhaanAllaah I don’t think it would be right to visit unless I get back quick. I decided I would drive my way back to the hospice.
I picked up my money and some post-it note slips just in case, but Allaahuakbar I couldn’t find my car key. It was like it was not meant to be. I’m in my warm home, it’s cold outside, I had the Masjid flu, but thinking that I may never have an opportunity to meet the uncle again I made my way another time to the open bus stop.
These buses come at three intervals, I was waiting so long that three of those intervals had passed without a single bus heading my way. Once again I was thinking just to go home and sleep and perhaps visit tomorrow but I was pushed on by the fact I may never have such an opportunity again. I decided to contact a minicab and Allaahuakbar just as I had ended my call the bus had come through explaining they were on a diversion, hence the severe delay.
I made it to the shop again, I didn’t even know what to purchase to be honest, so picked up what looked nice and sugary. Being late I thought perhaps everyone would be sleeping so decided to leave a note on the bag so they know this came from a Muslim.
I made it to the hospice telling them who I had come to meet, they opened the gates and after signing in I made my way to visit the uncle.
What I witnessed thereafter I will never be able to forget. Allaahuakbar upon seeing this uncle, I could only imagine what tests the family members may have been through. He was so thin yet wallaah his face was so incredibly sweet to look at. I rubbed his head in the hope that he would realise his brother has come to visit him.
The uncle, Mamun Chowdhury, was going through a lot which I hope are a means of purification for him to meet Allaah with a clean slate. The uncle, may Allaah raise his rank, have mercy on him and forgive him was suffering from stomach cancer, so I pray that Allaah accepts him as a shaheed due to the statement of the Prophet salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallaam when he said to the meaning:
“The martyrs are five: the one who dies of the plague, the one who dies of a stomach disease, the one who drowns, the one who is killed by a falling wall and the martyr (who dies) for the sake of Allaah.” 1
The Mother of Uncle Mamun was sitting by his side just rubbing him, whether he was aware or not, no-one knows but she continued to stay close by his side, so quiet with water just rolling down her face. That room was tranquil, I didn’t want to leave the room and just wanted to remain with the uncle.
At one point the uncle made some sounds and because he would sleep with his eyes open subhaanAllaah you couldn’t tell if he was awake or not but his daughter ran up. She began rubbing his cheek, asking dad do you want water, dad do you want water. She didn’t know what was happening, so she went out for some support, probably just wanting some sort of answer, why is my Father doing what he is? This uncle who saw his daughter grow, smile, walk, taking care of her through the years of his life, now has the chance to spend his last moments being taken care of by her. Allaah…
I remember hearing the daughter say over the phone that she wouldn’t return home that night, that she would stay through the whole night.
After Fajr at 6.30am that same night news reached that the uncle had passed away, may Allaah have mercy on him. When we prepared him for burial, his face I remember was exactly the same, except finally he had now closed his eyes. I was thinking subhaanAllaah had the daughter decided to go home that night she would be crying in a state of regret not being able to be with her Father in his last moments. I was thinking had my tiredness overcome me and I decided to not visit the uncle that night I would never have been able to meet him.
That was a lesson for me. We all know that death is shadowing over us, but to really understand that every moment could possibly be our last it takes time to engrave in the hearts through to action. We often make plans for the coming day in-fact sometimes for the coming weeks and months without any true sincere belief that yes I could die tonight, causing us to be lazy in our actions. It is these moments that we waste due to this belief that will cause us to have moments full of darkness and regret.
When I was 4, 5 years old I asked my Father before he left to work to buy me some colouring pens. When he came back he purchased the most amazing pencil case as well as a set of colouring pens.
However, those specific pens he purchased weren’t the right ones and definitely not the ones I wanted. He tried to explain to me and show to me how good they were taking them out the packet and colouring with it but I was so upset and angry. When I was 6 my Father, may Allaah have mercy on him, passed away. He had the most beautiful beard and the most beautiful smile and that day for me is like a movie that can be played back in my head.
Only after a few years later did I realise those set of pens he purchased for me, he did so because he couldn’t really afford the ones I wanted. In fact the ones he purchased he couldn’t afford but he also purchased two pencil cases along with it, the other for my older brother.
By Allaah every day I wish I could go back and say I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t understand, I’m sorry I didn’t know, I’m sorry I was upset, I’m sorry I was angry. I didn’t do that and that chance never came again. I loved my Father, when I came from school being told he passed away, I called the uncle a liar. When a dandelion would come my way I would grab it and make a wish to Allaah to have my dad back, I would make du’a that Allaah gives him half of my good deeds. I was young then and my Aqeedah wasn’t proper, but I ask Allaah to forgive me for those moments as I was young. I don’t know what my last day with my Father alive was like, I may have never told him how much I love him aswell.
When my Father passed away my Mother was around 25 years of age. Most of us were kids and the money my Father worked for would be used for families back home who live in literally mud houses with tin roofs and no electricity. We have no real family in the UK so my Mother was at the mercy of the community in order to pay the funeral fees. Losing a Father, the man of the house is hard and I really don’t know the difficulties striving_ukht is going through, nor her family. I can only imagine the struggle that the Mother of Uncle Mamun is facing, so I ask Allaah to grant the family patience.
I don’t know who striving_ukht is but to her I want to tell her to never forget this event, never forget your Father and let this become the reason your whole life changes. Realise what you want to achieve and never stop working hard. Smile and laugh as you do and let the people enjoy your company.
It is true without a doubt you’ll have sadness in your heart, so cuddle yourself up in your blanket and let tears fall as you wish – let your heart out to Allaah asking Him to forgive you, to forgive your Father, your Mother, there is no-one on this Earth who knows you better and what you’re going through. Let those moments of tears soften your heart and let them become a source of motivation for you to continue, to develop into someone of strength and steadfastness.
We don’t know when the decree of Allaah would come, so let us take every moment of ours dearly doing as much as we can so we can say I couldn’t do more as tomorrow may never come. Never see your laziness only affecting you, but instead like this: that perhaps we could have been the reason our Parents are forgiven, however, we chose to be lazy.
Wallaahi yes we may be tired, but can you imagine your Parents being placed in the Hellfire?! We know that our Parents had some shortcomings but perhaps through our effort Allaah will honour our Parents, give them a crown to wear on the Day of Judgement shining brighter than the sun, celebrating the news they have been given glad tidings of Jannah. Allaahuakbar. Can you imagine celebrating the glad tidings of Paradise with your family?
Our Parents aren’t like us, their hopes and dreams lie in their children because most of them probably didn’t achieve as much as they wished. There may be so many secrets that our Parents have of us in terms of the sacrifice they made, when we find out it may be too late for us to turn back and simply say I love you or I’m sorry. Do what you have to do today as tomorrow may never come.
I pray Allaah saves us from laziness and I pray that Allaah elevates our Parents in rank, raising them in honour in this life and the Hereafter. I pray that Allaah keeps the family of striving_ukht firm, patient and close to Him. May Allaah love Uncle Mamun always.
When a person passes away one of the best things to give in charity is water.
Sa’d ibn ‘Ubaadah said: “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, my mother has died. Should I give charity on her behalf?’ He said, ‘Yes.’ I asked, ‘What kind of charity is best?’ He said, ‘Providing water.’” 2
In light of this, please support the building of a well for Uncle Mamun InshaAllaah by donating here: http://www.justgiving.com/unclemamun