Respecting the Streets | Part 2 | Click here for part 1
Would you be able to give some advice to some people, especially the youth, what Islam says regarding crowding in the streets and pathways? Every time I step outside the Mosque or my house I find groups of young men gathering and making noise. Normally it is fine but when women (sisters) want to pass they sometimes feel intimidated by the large groups of people.
1. To stare at a woman on the road after the first glance is forbidden. So a man should lower his gaze or turn it aside.
The order of lowering the gaze is not just for men but it is intended equally for women. To allow one’s gaze to remain fixated on a Haram (forbidden) object leads to nothing but pain and agony in one’s heart. One might feel that, by staring at an object of beauty, one is relaxing his/her soul and allowing happiness to enter into his/her heart, but nothing is further from the truth. The most tormented of all (SubhanAllah) is a person who is addicted to looking at forbidden objects. Imam Ibn Taymiyyah said:
‘’When one looks on purpose (e.g., a man looking at a stranger woman), an attachment will form in his heart, and that will bring nothing but torment and misery. If that attachment increases to the point that one falls in love, the punishment and torment will only increase, regardless of whether one’s love is requited or not. If one’s love remains unrequited, then one will continue to remain in a state of sadness, misery, and depression. And one who has his love requited is also in a state of great pain, always fearing that he will be parted from the object of his love, always trying to please that object, and always striving to satisfy that object’s needs and wants. All of this began with a look. Had he averted his gaze, his (her) gaze, his (her) soul and heart would both be in a state of peace and calmness.’’[i]
Amazing words from Ibn Taymiyyah! How many young people we see every day wasting their time chasing after this Layla and that Majnun? As if life is like some bollywod film, and that sad thing is some people do believe that they can get their dream girl/boy by performing some flimsy karate moves like Shahruk Khan! In many cases young people fight and even kill each other for few moments of pleasure. More depressing is he/she who desires someone after looking at her/him by contravening the Shari’ah, but that desire is not requited. What can you do then? Kill yourself? Cut yourself? Carve your Layla’s and Majnun’s name on your hand with a knife?!
Well, there is nothing much you can do especially since this desire was not within the limits of the Shari’ah to begin with.
Imam Shafi’ has written a poem on this matter:
“And from misery is that you love,
and (the one) who you love, loves other than you,
or that you want good for a person,
and he wants to hurt you”.[ii]
Falling in love is natural. Allah said in regards to the relationship between the husband and wife that He, ‘ordained between you love and mercy’.[iii] Therefore, falling in love is not a sin because in Shari’ahwhatever feelings overcome one’s heart without his or her choice, then no sin is deemed to have been committed. Indeed, feelings of love and hate which overcome one’s emotions inadvertently are not considered sins, unless they drive that person to act upon those feelings in an unlawful manner.
Allah said in the Holy Quran:
“Allah does not overburden a soul with what it cannot bear”.[iv]
The Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) stated in the authentic Hadith:
“Allah Almighty has forgiven for my Ummah what they have concealed in their hearts, unless they act accordingly or speak aloud”.[v]
However, a man and woman must not indulge in any acts which would cause such emotions to overcome their hearts, as this may lead to sinful acts being committed. If a person does look at a woman, for example, finds her attractive that is fine. He should not indulge in improper thoughts but should take the appropriate measures to request her hand in marriage.
But do remember that the second stare is not allowed! And please do not compel yourself to do the Imam Siraj Wahhaj moment!
2. To offer a lift to those who do not have their own vehicles is recommended.
It is commendable to offer a lift to those who, for example, you may see someone waiting for a bus. However, this does not mean that a man can offer a lift to a woman and they can be in the same car together. Also, one must make sure that the authorities do not assume that you are mini-cabbing illegally!
3. Shouting when approaching someone on the road from behind is bad behaviour. It is better to come nearer to him before speaking.
This is so that people are not disturbed or frightened by it. There is no prohibition here but just out of courtesy to other people we should not shout. However, one should not run up to a person from behind and shout as this might cause him to jump and cause some health problems.
4. Eating while walking along the road or street.
Some classical Fuqaha considered this to be wrong, however, this is not something that the Shari’ah has strictly proscribed. It is related to the customs of the people. In some cultures walking and eating a sandwich, for example, may be deemed as rude while other societies and cultures deem it acceptable. But one should be careful not to litter on the ground and if you can, do share sometimes!
5. A Muslim’s manner of walking along the road is a part of his Islamic personality; it expresses to others and conveys to himself certain sentiments and attitudes. Walking, therefore, should conform to certain guidelines:
(a) Reeling or swaying when walking are to be avoided; so too walking with an effeminate gait, or with a stance of pride, prancing or strutting; also cowering when walking. It is quite amusing and fascinating to see young people limping when they walk.
Some people walk along the pathways with their chests pushed forward, arms waving as if they’re performing a Zulu dance with a strut[vi] and swagger and believing they’re the kings of the world! No one else matters. If a person walks pass them they’re made to feel inferior and if their pathways are not vacated world war three breaks out!
This behaviour is not the proper conduct of a Muslim. Allah commands people to walk on the earth with humility and with a modest stature. Only the arrogant and haughty walk in this manner. This so called bad boy attitude and behaviour will not last and it will not get a person anywhere in life. How many bad boys have thrown their life away just by striving to portray himself as being ‘bad’? There is nothing good in being ‘bad’! Unfortunately, this is the devil’s deception sweeping the Muslim youth across our community. The problem is so severe that a Muslim has the nerve and audacity to hit and kill his parent for not providing his drug money! May Allah guide all of us.
Honour and respect is not attained in behaving in this fashion; it is obtained through the proper observance of his humanity and his/her faith.
(b) When walking in company, one should consider others and not proceed at a pace too fast for him.
Another point should be made here is that when walking Muslim walk with a purpose. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim al-Jawziyyah said:
‘’When the Prophet salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam would walk, he would lean forward, and he would walk faster than any other person; his form of walking was of the best and serenest kind.’’ Abu Huraira (R) said, ‘’I have not seen (anyone) better than the Messenger of Allahsalallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam; it was as if the sun flowed in his face. And I have not seen anyone who walked faster than the Messenger of Allah salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam; it was as if the earth was folded for him. And we would be losing our breath (in order to keep up with him), while he would be in a calm, unchanged state.’’[vii]
Ali Ibn Abi Talib (R) said, ‘’When the Messenger of Allah salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam would walk, he would lean forward, as if he were walking down and incline.’’[viii]
Of course this does not mean that when we have the elderly and the women folks we walk so fast so as to leave them behind. This should be applied in the appropriate context.
6. Last but not least, when leaving the house the proper Islamic dress should be observed.
Women must cover all their body except their hands and face [subject of discussion where scholars strongly state these must also be covered, wallaahu 'alam - Ibn Aasiyah]. Skin tight and transparent attire must be avoided.
Men also need to cover properly. It is not proper that they exit their house wearing skin tight t-shirts and skin tight and transparent trousers showing of their biceps and triceps. And those trousers that go down to the extent that their back is exposed must be avoided.
I pray the aforementioned points are of benefit.[ix]
Yours Islamically and Maqasidically,
Abdullah Hasan
[i] Quoted in The Book of Manners, Darussalam, p, 398.
[ii] Tawq al Hamamah by Ibn Hazm
[iii] Qur’an: 30:21
[iv] 2:286
[v] Bukhari, Muslim
[vi] The only place a person may walk with a strut etc is in the battle field like Abu Dujaanah (R).
[vii] Tirmidhi (3648)
[viii] Muslim
[ix] For further reading please see Riyadus Salihin, Al-Adab al Mufrad, Imam Nawawi’s forty Hadith, The Book of Manners by Darussalam, Morals and Manners in Islam by the Islamic Foundation.
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