An Irreplaceable Blessing

Asalaamu Alykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu my dear brothers and sisters,

InshaAllaah all of you and your families are doing wonderfully. I hope this serves as a reminder about respecting and being kind towards our parents.

The majority of our current society, especially in the West, de-emphasises the OBLIGATION to take care of our parents. Unfortunately, the realm that we live in today finds it normal for children to mistreat and shout at their parents and what is worse, to abandon them in elderly home shelters when they are “too much of a hassle” and when the children get “too busy with their own lives” (whatever that means…). But what this culture finds normal, is for us, abnormal. This is foreign to us. It is not our culture and not how our beloved Prophet Muhammad salallaahu ‘alayhi wasallam taught us to act. In our deen, it is precisely when our parents become old and in need of assistance that we are to rush to take care of them as they did for us so many times before.

Let us remember that as Muslims, we have a duty to take care of our parents and that if we fail to please/satisfy them, it is said that it will be virtually impossible to enter Jannah, no matter what other good deeds we do in the Dunya. It is like trying to fill a basket full of holes with water. What would happen? The water would pass right through. We have to seal the holes in the basket first and then fill it with water. Similarly, we have to set a stable foundation of love, respect and obedience to our parents and make sure that they are fully satisfied with us, in order for our good deeds to be accepted by Allaah ta’ala.

Many times we get so caught up in our own fast lives (with school and work and…at times occupying our minds with insignificant things like how others view us and about who said what on Facebook) that we forget how much our parents, especially our mothers, sacrificed for us to be where we are today. If we really were to sit down, turn off all of the distractions, and just think for a minute at how much our parents nurtured us emotionally, educationally and in all other aspects, it would be mind-blowing. Unimaginable! Before you keep reading, take just 10 seconds right now to remember everything your parents did for you. You will see that 10 seconds isn’t enough to even consider a fraction of our parents’ efforts.

And even if they anger or irritate us, embarrass us or mistreat us, what they do is out of love and concern for us and we still must show them the highest level of respect and care, not because they buy things for us or treat us nicely, but simply because they are our parents.

These are just a few of the many reminders from Al-Qur’aan Al-Hakim and Al-Hadith to inshaAllaah help us understand the importance of this topic:

It is narrated that “Paradise is at your mother’s feet” and “your father is the middle gate to Paradise.”

And Allaah says:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect (Uff!), nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’” [ Al-‘Isra 17:23-24]

In surah al Luqman, Allaah ta’ala says,

“We enjoined the human being to honor his parents. His mother bore him, and the load got heavier and heavier. It takes two years (of intensive care) until weaning. You shall be appreciative of Me, and of your parents. To Me is the ultimate destiny.” [Luqman 31:14].

Let us try to make a sincere effort now and in the future to treat our parents with the utmost respect and kindness, especially towards our mothers who suffered immensely for our sake. And if we live far from our parents, as many of us do, then let us do more than that short phone call “every once in a while” or “whenever we feel like it.” We should use every opportunity we can to be at their service and when we are by ourselves, to make du’aa for them, again and again, asking Allaah ta’ala to forgive them, bless them, protect them and grant them special seats in al-Firdaws inshaAllaah.

Remember that this is our parents we are referring to, the two people who love us more than any other people in the world, a love so pure and intense, we cannot even comprehend it! As Muslims, we really must start taking this seriously. For those of us who have severed ties with our parents or have unhappy relationships, turn the page and return to your parents immediately. Allaah ta’ala is Most Forgiving and Most Merciful. And for those of us who are already stellar to our parents, (mashaAllaah) let us strive to be even better inshaAllaah.

It can be hard to know exactly how to improve, I hope these practical tips give you some ideas:

(1) The next time our mothers hug us or give us a huge smile and tickle us, let us think to ourselves, “SubhanAllaah, what did I do to make her this happy?” And whatever you did, keep doing it!

(2) When your father shouts at you for no apparent reason, do not fill your hearts with ill intentions, but rather at that very moment, make du’aa for him. Ask Allaah ta’ala to bless him in the best of ways.

(3) Every week, try to do something new and different to surprise your parents. Maybe cook something small for them (why does your Mom have to do all of the cooking?) Or do the laundry, invite them for dinner or lunch, write a short love poem to your mom, ask her, “MashaAllaah mama! Did you lose weight!? OMG…You look amazing!” or tell her that she is more beautiful and dear to your heart than any other human (which should be the case, anyways) or during your phone conversation with your father, tell him really how much you appreciate what he did for you… don’t stop here, let us all constantly be coming up with new ideas to please them!

InshaAllaah these small actions will strengthen our relationships with our parents and in turn with Al-Rahman Al-Raheem. Small deeds, done with love and sincerity go a long way and will fill our own lives with so much barakah.

Additionally, I wanted to share a short video with you all. It is a short video clip discussing the duty to our mothers from Sh. Abu Eesa Niamatullah’s Adab Al Mufrad lecture series (which I highly recommend and the entire series can be found on youtube):

And please…don’t wait until its too late, act now while you are still blessed with your mothers and fathers.

All the good from this message is from Allaah ta’ala and any shortcomings or mistakes are from myself.

May Allaah ta’ala bless all of our parents and give us patience and understanding in our interactions with them. I wish the very very best for all of you and your familes!

Jazak Allaah kheiran wa asalaamu alykum.

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